If you’ve been holding on to the hope that you’ll “get back to your old self,” you’re not alone. After major life changes such as grief, burnout, heartbreak, or even healing — it’s natural to crave a return to who you once were. But here’s the truth:
The old you isn’t coming back. And that’s not just okay, it’s necessary.
You’re not meant to stay the same. Life asks us to evolve. And often, the growth you’ve earned in silence, in stillness, and in struggle is shaping someone stronger, softer, and more self-aware.
Why we crave the past versions of ourselves:
It’s tempting to romanticize who you were before everything changed. Before the ache, the unraveling, the letting go. But often, that “old self” was built on survival. On people-pleasing, emotionally disconnected, or ignoring red flags.
What you miss isn’t always you.
It’s the illusion of safety, simplicity, or certainty. It’s about longing for the safety or simplicity that version of you seemed to have.
And that version didn’t know what you know now.
Signs you’re outgrowing your old identity
- You feel disconnected from things that once excited you
- Certain friendships or routines no longer feel aligned
- You feel more aware of your emotions or boundaries
- You question your patterns instead of repeating them
- You’re grieving, but also sensing something new is unfolding
This is not regression. It’s the discomfort of growth.
Why the old you can’t come with you is simple, they weren’t meant for this level of expansion. The version of you that’s emerging moves with more intention, thinks more clearly, dreams bigger, and chooses peace over performance. You’re no longer operating on the same frequency; your environment, boundaries, and truth have evolved, reshaping your entire energetic blueprint. Trying to shrink back into who you once were would only disconnect you from the person you’re becoming. Your soul signed up for more — more alignment, more depth, more truth. You’re not here to repeat cycles. You’re here to realign with who you were always meant to be.
The one whos ready now.
How to embrace who you're becoming
Letting go of your past identity isn’t about erasing it. It’s about integrating the lessons and building forward. Here’s how:
- Reflect: Journal about what’s changed and why. Honor the parts of you that helped you navigate that time of your life.
- Reframe: Replace “I miss who I was” with “I’m curious about who I’m becoming.”
- Release: Guilt, timelines, expectations. You’re allowed to change and grow even if others don’t understand.
- Reconnect: Spend time in environments that reflect your values now. Surround yourself with people who support your evolution.
Remember, growth isn't always glamorous, it actually can be quite the opposite.
Sometimes it looks like taking one step forward and ten steps back. It might mean outgrowing friendships, walking away from a job you thought you wanted, or feeling lost in the in-between. But these shifts aren’t setbacks—they’re redirections. You can’t call in a new life while staying attached to the same patterns, places, and people.
You may never return to the exact person you were before and that’s a good thing. Because the version of you who’s becoming is wiser, more aligned, and more aware of what really matters.
Looking for support on your self-discovery journey?
The 365 Journals were designed for moments like these, when you’re in transition, in healing, and figuring out what’s next. With guided prompts based on six life chapters (career, relationships, finances, self-discovery, past traumas, and goals), it helps you reconnect with yourself one page at a time.
